Do you believe in “superbeing”? I do.
You think: “What is a superbeing?”
Are they really smart? Are they strong and flexible? Are they the kind of people who break Guinness World Records? They can speak multiple languages? They are super models and very beautiful?…
Maybe.
To me, a superbeing is someone who is not limited by one or two identities.
(I’m talking about superhuman, but I want to avoid the word human since it’s more exclusive)
You know, superheroes often have several identities. Spiderman is a man AND a spider (lol). He is also a lover, a science student, and an office worker.
I’ve always been a fan of having multiple “identities” (not like having dissociative personality disorder which is not by your choice). Let me share with you why.
Growing up in Asia, I’ve always felt the social pressure, especially on women.
- In Vietnam, for a lot of families, if you go to nightclubs, you’re a “bad” girl (That’s why I’ve never been to a nightclub when I lived in Vietnam. Not because I wanted to be a “good girl”).
- If you’re not good at cooking or dislike cooking, you’re not qualified as a good wife (or they’ll blame your mother for not training you well).
- In Japan, if you don’t pay attention to and fill other people’s empty glasses at a drinking party, you don’t have good social skills.
- In Japan, working at hostess bars is still considered a kinda dirty job, even though all you do is talk and pour wine for other men.
I hate social prejudice. Why does “doing ABC” mean “you are XYZ”? Why do we have to group people in buckets and categories?
Because of feeling social pressure all the time, I wanted to “break free”. I want to prove that we can do anything we like, and we are still something else.
That’s the definition of “superbeing”, based on my dictionary :D.
I can pole dance, and I can also code.
I can go to dance parties, and I can also cook.
I can be a yogi, and I can also be an analyst.
Okay, let’s say you read that, and are interested in becoming a superbeing. How?
First of all, I want to say that everyone is already some sort of superbeing. Think about it. You work, but you’re also a wife or husband, or a mom or dad. You might have a side business, so you’re also a business owner/ entrepreneur. You’re also a novice motorcyclist. You’re also a painter…
See, you’re already pretty cool! You do so many things at the same time.
The problem is, among all those possibilities, how do you pick your priorities? What kind of superbeing do you want to be?
You might be thinking: “Forget about being superior. I just want to be a normal person and be able to deal with my own sh*t”. Being a superbeing or not, we still have to live, to breathe, to grow, and to suffer. So how can you become superior?
I’m certainly not an expert on superbeing or something like that 😅. But after years of trying new hobbies and achieving new things, here are some lessons that might help.
1. Know thyself
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.”
Sun Tzu
I’ve been a mentor (at work, for school, for a non-profit) many times and the first advice I give to my mentees has always been: “Know what you want to do.”
You don’t have to figure out the “love of your life”. It’s okay that your hobbies or passions change over time. You just need to know what you might enjoy at that stage of your life so you can start digging into the topic and learn more.
Knowing your passion is the start of everything.
Knowing your motivation is the next step. There are 2 types: intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation.
When I was 18, I got into one of the most prestigious universities in Vietnam (FTU). I started studying Japanese because I thought I could work for a Japanese company after graduation and get a good salary. That’s an example of extrinsic motivation.
I ended up enjoying the language, and decided to quit FTU to study abroad in Japan so I could master it. That’s an example of intrinsic motivation.
Without the motivation, I wouldn’t have studied Japanese. I wouldn’t have become a polyglot. My life would have been boring because I didn’t go to Japan. I wouldn’t have been a superbeing XD.
The worst thing is having absolutely NO interest in anything and accepting your life the way it is. I really don’t recommend that (if you want to be a superbeing).
2. Do it. Take risks.
Next step is to follow your passion. Act on it. Do something.
It feels scary to start something new. It feels scary to quit your job. But you wouldn’t know how scary (or not) it actually is until you do it. And most of the time, acting on it leaves you something rewarding before you realize.
One of my favorite stories that illustrates how “doing something that might seem nonsense could change your life” is the Bible and the Coal Basket story.
Short version of the story is like this. A young boy asked his grandpa why he read the Bible everyday. The Granda then asked the boy to carry water from the river back to the house with a coal basket (that’s leaking). The boy did it several times, tried to run very fast but the water leaked and the basket quickly became empty before he returned to the house. The boy came back to his grandpa and complained that carrying water in a coal basket is nonsense and useless. The grandpa told him to look at the basket, which was then clean!
The lesson is: There are things you might not remember or understand (i.e. reading the Bible), but when you do it, it could change you.
Back to 2012, when I was still a college student in Japan, I came across “Mori girl” (森ガール) – a fashion and lifestyle concept. It really drew my interest because I loved wearing airy, flowy, earthy color dresses and walking in the forest XD. I decided to open an online shop selling “Mori girl” style clothing and accessories. When I first started, I had absolutely no experience doing an ecommerce store. But with a lot of Google search and help from friends, I did it! As you can see, I didn’t get rich from that store lol. But I learned so much. I became very familiar with WordPress and little did I know, that skill is still helping me until today, even at my full-time job.
I would not advise you, for example, to spend all your savings to buy cryptos just because you see other people doing it and you think you like it. Don’t blindly act on things without calculating the risks. But after careful calculation, if it’s worth it, you should do it. Say yes to new opportunities.
The worst thing is knowing what you like, but not doing anything.
3. Put your heart to it. Commit to it
This is something that sounds easy, but actually very hard (to me).
As an Enneagram number 7, I always seek pleasure and joy and excitement (lol). I’m a pretty dopaminergic person, meaning I get high from doing new things. I constantly have new ideas. So it’s been very difficult for me to stay focused. Last year, I started writing a novel, an online course about Keto diet (a whole new website with ondemand course functionality…), a new position at work… Too many projects at once!
It’s a baaaaaad thing. I advise against starting too many things at once (Yet, I have at least 5 things I want to do right now). I know it might sound the opposite with number 2, but there needs to be a balance. You can try new things, but there are so many rewards for sticking to what you started.
Most things in life produce fruits only after a long enough investment.
I had the Mori girl online shop for 1-2 years. I decided to quit because I got a full-time job in Tokyo, and because the shop didn’t bring enough revenue for me to focus on it. If I would have continued, I’m sure it would have been a successful shop and I would have had a lot of fun with it for longer.
The worst thing is trying too many things but not committing to any.
4. Have the recipe for mastering something new
Okay, going back to the main topic: becoming a superbeing (in Thuy’s definition)
Personally, I want to be the kind of superbeing who has a good mind, a good soul, and a good body (health).
- Mind: I’m not the smartest person in SF, but I’m smart enough to pass all of my MBA classes lol. Right now, I’m training my mind with Data Science.
- Soul: I believe that practicing self-expression and creativity is important for nourishing your soul. I try to do that by writing, dancing, traveling, cooking, and painting once in a while.
- Body/ Health: I’ve neglected this part for a long time, so this might be the most difficult thing to train for me. I had no athletic or dancing background. I’m not very muscly or flexible. I’ve tried doing badminton, yoga, swimming… but I never stuck to them. (And I hate cardio stuff). BUT I’m getting better. All thanks to pole dancing (and living on top of a hill XD )
Pole dancing is so far one hobby that I’ve committed to the most (and longest) in my whole life! I think it’s because of a combination of several factors.
- I have intrinsic motivation: I enjoy dancing and wearing sexy clothes lol. Pole dancing provides me the opportunity to do that.
- I have extrinsic motivation: When I post my photos and videos, I get compliments from people and it motivates me 😉 (So please like more!!!)
- It isn’t too difficult to make progress: After the first class, I could climb the pole already. Small achievements always bring motivation. That’s why having small milestones when you learn something helps a lot.
- I could see the progress right away: Similar to number 3, but if you could see and feel that you’re advancing, you’ll be more motivated. That’s another reason why documenting your progress (videos, photos, blogs, journals) is so important when learning something.
- I know where I am in the progress: Trying the moves (or learning) at the right level is important, so you don’t get frustrated or bored. There are moves that I’ve been working on for several months and it’s frustrating not being able to do it however hard I try. When you reach a plateau in your learning or training, go back and do something easier to gain confidence.
- I have a community: Last year, I joined a pole dancing Facebook group and found a pole accountability partner (I didn’t plan for it). We made a shared spreadsheet to document each other’s progress. We checked in with each other every week. We even took online classes together! When you first start something completely new to you, just knowing that other people have the same struggles would help, because “you’re not alone”, and “this too shall pass”. Once you reach a certain level, having sources of inspiration is also important.
- It leads to other things! Yes, exploring your new thing deeply and broadly. By committing to pole dancing, I force myself to train to be stronger and more flexible. By being stronger and more flexible, I could try on new related activities like other aerial apparatus (silk, aerial hoop) or dancing.
There might be more factors that have helped. But I believe those are the key factors for mastering and achieving something, whether it’s a new hobby or a business.
5. Don’t condition yourself or make excuses
This has turned out to be a very long blog lol. Here’s the final piece.
Some people seem like they want to try new things, but they’d say: “I will do that if/when I’m more + (adjective)”. For example:
- I will dance when I’m happy. → No, you dance THEN you’re happy
- I will try this sports when I’m stronger → No, you do the sports THEN you’re stronger
- I will try that when I’m more free (when I have time) → No, you MAKE TIME for it
How to make time for something new? That’s a topic I’ve always wanted to write about, so maybe next blog.
What do you think? Am I too ambitious trying to become a superbeing? What are some new things you want to do? What are some tips you have? Let me know in comment.
Good luck, and remember, you’re already pretty super! 🤩